LIMON

A man and his wife, were having some problems at home, and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized, that the following day he would need his wife, to wake him up at 5:00 a.m., for an early morning's business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 5:00 a.m." He left it, where he knew that his wife would find it.

The following morning the man woke up, only to discover, that it was 9:00 a.m., and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
ask why his wife, as to why she hadn't woken him up. When he noticed, a piece of paper by his bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 a.m. now. Please wake up."

Men are not equipped to compete and win, in these types of contests.


WIFE vs. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road, for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion, had led to an argument, and neither of them wanted to concede, their respective position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Are they all relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "they are all my in-laws"

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding the items that the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a Remote-control for a television set, in her handbag. "Do you always carry your TV's remote-control? " I asked from the woman. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, today; and I figured, that this was the most evil thing I could do to him, legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know that I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand, how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root; but still be afraid, of a spider?!

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife, about how many words women use a day. 30,000 words by a woman, when compared to 15,000 words by a man. The wife replied, "The reason has to be, because we have to repeat everything, that we have to say to men." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be, so stupid and so beautiful, all at the same time?!" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful, so that you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid, so that I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument, about who should brew the coffee, each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long, to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here, and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it. Besides, it is in the Bible, that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me proof." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament, and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ........."HEBREWS"

God may have created man, before He created woman; but there is always a rough draft, before the masterpiece.