Famous Quotes about Wives
I  recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.   That must  be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.  
David  Bissonette 
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When a man  steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 
Sacha Guitry  
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After  marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't  face each other, but still they stay together. 
Hemant  Joshi 
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By all means marry.  If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll  become a philosopher. 
Socrates 
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from  achieving them.  
Dumas 
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The  great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What  does a woman want? 
Sigmund Freud 
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs  with me.  
Anonymous 
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"Some  people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a  restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music  and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." 
Henny  Youngman 
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"I don't worry  about terrorism. I was married for two years." 
Sam  Kinison 
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"There's a way of  transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's  called marriage." 
James Holt McGavran 
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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left  me, and the second one didn't."  
Patrick Murray 
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming  
1.  Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 
2. Whenever you're  right, shut up. 
Nash 
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The  most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it  once... 
Anonymous 
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You  know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. 
Henny  Youngman 
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My wife and I  were happy for twenty years. Then we met. 
Rodney  Dangerfield 
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A good wife  always forgives her husband when she's wrong. 
Milton  Berle 
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Marriage is the only  war where one sleeps with the enemy. 
Anonymous 
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".  Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:  "You can have mine."  
Anonymous 
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"  
Second  Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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